Setting boundaries in your life can be intimidating. For years, you have allowed the desires of others to supersede your own in the name of keeping the peace. And now you have a new resolve to challenge that mindset and put your own needs at the same level. How do you even begin to do this?
The work is not as intimidating as it may seem, and with time it will become second nature. But it is work, and it will feel challenging at first. If you can power through this, better relationships with others, and even yourself, await.
Doing the Internal Work for Setting Boundaries
This may seem like the easy step, but it can often be the most intimidating. This is where you sit with yourself and process not only what your boundaries are but why you need them. When more concrete situations present themselves, this is the work you fall back on to keep moving forward.
– What is your purpose?
You know boundaries are important. Everyone told you so. You read the books and had the late-night conversations with friends. But do you really believe it? This is the time you can set apart to envision what you want out of the other end.
You (hopefully) want a healthier relationship with others and yourself that gives your needs and wants the same amount of importance. Consider how boundaries can achieve that for you. You can tap into this mental energy when you forget the “why” down the road.
– What are your boundaries?
Creating your boundaries can be complicated, especially if you have a low sense of self. You may be tempted to think that your feeling about something is irrational or unimportant. This is a lifelong battle for some people.
Consult with people whose opinions you trust and respect to figure out your abstract boundaries. They can tell you objectively what you truly deserve as a human being. This will hopefully give you a filter to understand what is out of bounds.
Living Your Truth
Now that you understand what is acceptable to, you can live this out in actual relationships. This means being explicit with others and telling them what behaviors you cannot tolerate. It also means the even harder job of cutting off those who continually disrespect you.
Nothing about this is easy but with a general roadmap, you can give yourself a chance to put your thoughts into action. Create a strong base and manifest the life that is before you: one of mutual respect and love between yourself and the people in your life by setting boundaries.
So, please stay strong and keep your boundaries. It is an essential trait, which can make your whole existence easier and better when you begin.
This is always the hardest step but you will gain so much.
If you have questions or want to comment please feel free to do so, especially with a different opinion, I love reasonable discussions!
Wish you all the best,
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Please be so kind to yourself and take the time to really get to know you. You are the person you spend the most time with and it´s so important that you love yourself.
See my new courses!
You want to change your life in a postive and healthy way? And you tried so much, but nothing´s really worked? I know that feeling, you search for something that solves all problems at once.
But there is not ONE solution. You have to adapt better skills to cope with stress in your everyday life.
That you can reach through e.g. more resilience and setting boundaries, two traits that are really easy to learn and to maintain.